Love, Red Read online

  His fingers were making circles in my palm. “I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave you alone.”

  When we got to the hotel, I was still feeling a little uneasy. I wasn’t sure why he didn’t want to tell James. Maybe it was because the main reason for the trip was to work on the company business plan, and he was afraid we would be too preoccupied with making love. But there was a part of me that wondered if it was just too soon after his divorce for him to be spending four days with another woman.

  As the clerk was checking us in, he asked, “How many keys would you like?”

  Rune looked at me, and with the most mischievous voice, said, “Ten, please.”

  Without skipping a beat, the clerk started counting, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.”

  We both burst out laughing.

  “Blush number two. We’re only one hour into the trip, and you’ve already turned red twice.” He was having way too much fun.

  We went up to the room and started unpacking. James was going to arrive soon, so there wasn’t enough time for us to even get a quickie in.

  I went and stood by the window looking out. Many of our fantasies started with that scene. He came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. When he began playing with my breasts, I started to moan.

  “We can’t start this now. James is going to be here any minute.” In my mind, I was hoping he would call and say he got stuck in traffic. I wasn’t ready to share Rune just yet.

  His mouth was close to my ear. “I’m just enjoying the view. You’re the one whose mind is going to all those naughty places.”

  “How could they not, when you’re playing with my nipples like that?” I asked breathlessly.

  Knock, knock was the next sound I heard.

  All I could think was Damn, what horrible timing.

  • • •

  It was the first time in the 30 years that we had been meeting up like this, that neither of us was in a relationship. I wondered if the thought of being free to explore what was between us was going to cause him to panic, but I had to trust that whatever was supposed to be, would be.

  At the same time, I had been living in this alternate universe for the past six months, so I had to assume that it was now my reality. We were both free to explore our feelings. We had written the most intimate stories to each other. We were talking for hours whenever we could, but most importantly, he seemed to be getting more and more comfortable with the feelings we shared.

  “James, this is Gwynyth, my friend from New Orleans that I’ve been telling you about,” Rune said, by way of introduction.

  Then he turned and whispered to me, “with benefits.” Needless to say, I started turning red. With his back to James, he held up three fingers and mouthed, “I’m on a roll.”

  He was enjoying it way too much each time he made me blush. But I knew it was his way of letting me know he cared.

  Because Rune still hadn’t explained to James about our relationship, it was somewhat uncomfortable as we were finishing up that first day of planning.

  “Gwynyth, thank you so much for helping us with this,” James said. “I’m looking forward to seeing how much more we’ll get done over the next couple of days. Sheila is looking forward to meeting you and having dinner on Saturday.”

  Then he turned to Rune and said, “Are you ready to go?” He assumed Rune was going to be staying at his house.

  It was the first time I had seen Rune stumble for words. “I’m staying here,” was all he could say.

  James looked at him and then at me. I think he thought it was too soon for Rune to be physically intimate with someone, since his divorce had been final for less than two weeks.

  “Yeah, as I mentioned before, Gwynyth and I have been friends for a very long time.” In a way, his words were sweet revenge, because he was actually blushing.

  As I closed the door behind James, I said, “Well, that was a little awkward.”

  “I know I should have explained to him that our friendship was a little more than just professional, but I don’t know how to explain our relationship to others. We are friends, but we are also lovers.”

  He came up to me and put his arms around me and smiled, “Speaking of being lovers…”

  • • •

  My body was ready for him. I had been fighting the urge the whole time James was there, to go up to Rune and touch him. To run my fingers through his hair, to softly kiss those lips. Tonight was going to be different.

  There would be no guilt associated with this encounter. There was no wife or husband lurking in the background. For the first time, it was only the two of us. We were free to explore all the possibilities.

  As he took me into his arms, my stomach fluttered with anticipation. His fingers moved to touch my skin under my shirt. At that point in time, all I wanted to do was say, “I love you,” but I couldn’t, no, I wouldn’t allow myself to say that. I was still afraid that I had already exposed too many of my feelings.

  I was starting to understand why I hadn’t had that OMG moment that he always talked about. As much as I loved him, there was a part of me that always held back. What I recognized in that moment was that he held back as well. Not in what he would give me physically. But what he allowed himself to give me emotionally.

  I wasn’t sure if it was our history. If it was the memory of being 23 and him panicking at the thought of being in love with a woman with two almost teenage daughters, or if it was his fear of being loved so intensely.

  Over the next two hours, we made love in a way we never had before. We took our time exploring the physical pleasure that had been a part of who we were from the very first encounter.

  He was on top of me. I could feel his hardness touch the lining of my insides. “So, you described in detail what it feels like to make love to me. What are you feeling right now?

  “Mmmm, sweet ecstasy,” was my first response. “When you’re inside of me, I get lost in what it does to me physically. It’s the movement back and forth but yet, it’s my muscles trying to hold onto you so you can’t pull out.

  “So what does it feel like for you? You’ve never let me know.” It’s funny, but as much as I trusted him, I was still concerned that he was going to walk away from me and abandon what we had.

  He smiled, and I could feel him flick his penis inside of me. My muscles responded by tightening themselves around him. “You like that, don’t you?” he said.

  I blushed. “Yes, it sends a rush through my body that’s hard to explain.”

  “Four for me, now – do you think we can get to ten before the end of the evening?” He kissed my cheek, “You turn red so easily.”

  “That is so unfair. I need to do something that will make you blush.”

  “Puddles, it’s never going to happen.”

  Chapter 21 –

  Creating a Base for Our Future

  Sometimes our talents are revealed to us in ways we never expected. I had never put together a business plan, but my work history gave me a solid base for understanding what works and doesn’t work in a company.

  My inherent curiosity helps me find what I need when I need it. The SBA website was a treasure trove of information, with instructions on how to put together a detailed plan of action.

  Over the next few days, I created a 20+ page document on how to structure the business for success, made recommendations for their website, and had firmly established my role. They were seeing me as an integral part of the team. Being a part of his company was securing my place in his life.

  At the same time, I was his ally in the changes he wanted to make, and someone who lent credence to his vision for the future. James was happy to see the strategy that we mapped out. I hadn’t met Sheila yet, but was looking forward to sharing with her at dinner on Saturday night what we had created in the past few days.

  During the day, we worked with James on the business plan. But the evenings were ours. The second night we were th
ere, he took me to the beach.

  “You’re lucky I’m such a cheap employee.”

  He took my hand and said, “Yes, taking you for walks on the beach is a bargain. I can’t believe everything we’ve accomplished. You know, you really are one smart lady.”

  I was blushing. Never had a man that I knew so intimately thought of me the way he did.

  “You’re blushing.” His grin widened. “I didn’t even have to work for that one. And I wasn’t even going for that.”

  “I’m valued at work, but none of my relationships have ever appreciated my input the way you do.” I stopped walking and laid my head on his “arm. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

  He put his arm around me and pulled me close. “We always joke, and our conversations always end with sexual overtones, but I have always respected you as a person. You’ve raised two fantastic daughters. I’m still in awe of the sacrifices Julia and her husband have made. Not too many people are willing to adopt a handicapped child. And she didn’t just adopt one; she adopted two.”

  “Yes, I’m proud of her. God knows, I couldn’t do what she has done.”

  “She learned her giving ways from you. You know the old saying, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You taught her how to love. It makes me understand your intensity.”

  In some ways, I knew he was right. I had raised my daughters to accept others and not judge. But most of all, I felt like they knew how to appreciate what life gave them.

  We continued to walk and look for shells.

  “Did you know that you can see the space shuttle launches from here?”

  “James had mentioned that to me earlier. Did I ever tell you the story of seeing the final space shuttle launch?” I asked.

  “I knew you had gone, but never heard the story.”

  “You know, I told you a long time ago that I have the ability to draw things to me. The shuttle launch has been one of my favorite manifestations. My sister worked for a NASA subcontractor and was given the opportunity to see the final blastoff in person.”

  “That must have been something to see.”

  “Yes, it had always been a dream of mine to see a launch, but I wanted to take the girls and Jerad and Conner, too, but she only had two passes.

  “When we were talking about visualizing a one-hundred-million-dollar business, I believe we can make that happen. We just have to have a focus like I did with the passes for the launch,” not completely sure whether or not he was understanding what I was talking about.

  “Less than a week before Gillian and I were supposed to leave, she got two more passes, and Julia and Marisa now had tickets to go with us. I still wanted to take the boys as well. I kept visualizing her holding six tickets.

  The peculiar thing about visualizations is that they quickly manifest, but at the same time, the slightest bit of doubt can cause them to disappear or never materialize.

  “I was beginning to think I just wasn’t powerful enough, but was happy we had tickets for the girls. We were packing the car, two hours before leaving, when we got two more. I’ll never doubt myself again. It was the best road trip of our lives.”

  “Well, you did just send me a chapter about your powers, so I’m not going to doubt you. You can’t turn me into a frog, can you?”

  “No, you’re not frog material. In many ways, you have always been my knight in shining armor. You have rescued me so many times. First Miguel and then when things fell apart with Daryl. Not sure what I would have done without your friendship.”

  I often wondered why Rune was always the one person I would turn to when things weren’t going well. Even if it had been years since we had talked, his was always the first number I dialed.

  As we continued to walk and listen to the sounds of the waves, I was at peace with my world. I had been reading more about alternate universe theory, and it was becoming clear to me that moving between universes was more than a possibility. Clearly, walking on the beach with Rune was something I had never imagined in the other universe I had come from.

  • • •

  We were doing things like most couples do. Something as simple as having breakfast together was a treat. That first morning, we went down to the café in the hotel. We actually ordered the same thing – well, almost. Bagel with cream cheese for him and peanut butter for me. We each got a banana and orange juice.

  “Are you sure that’s all you want? I’ll spring for a real breakfast if you want it.”

  “No, this is all I usually have most days.”

  “It’s kind of sexy, watching you eat that banana,” he said, knowing he was going to make me blush.

  My cheeks went crimson. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

  “What am I up to, 20, 25 times now so far? And the weekend isn’t half-way over. I’m going to have to try harder to make it all the way to 50.”

  “You could stop now and give me a break.” I was hoping the tone in my voice would evoke some mercy on his part.

  “Nah, I kind of like making you blush, Puddles.”

  • • •

  The last thing we were going to do on Saturday was fill Sheila in on the business plan. She had been working the whole time we were there, so it was going to be my first opportunity to meet her.

  James had suggested one of their favorite seafood places. You ordered your food at the counter and then found a table. We decided to find a table first, and then James and Rune went to order our food.

  I don’t know what came over me, but Sheila asked me how long Rune and I had known each other. Evidently, she didn’t know our history.

  “We’ve been friends for over 30 years now,” I said. The next thing I know, tears are forming in my eyes. And before Rune and James got back to the table from placing our order, Sheila had the Cliff Notes version of our story.

  “I’ve been in love with him since the moment we first met. We’ve been having an affair for over 30 years now. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love him.”

  She was a little stunned by my confession, and frankly, so was I. “I remember the first time I met him. We had been talking on the phone for some time, but when he came to the townhouse that first day, my life changed completely. I remember opening the door.

  “And I fell in love at the first sight of him. He had the most beautiful smile, and I felt myself melting into the blue eyes that were smiling at me. My knees were totally weak, so I had to hold onto the door to keep from falling.” I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth asI continued to wipe the tears from my face.

  James and Rune were going to be heading back any minute. I had to pull it together.

  “Please, please, don’t repeat what I just said. I’m not sure why I said that, even though it is true. I really shouldn’t have told you how I feel about Rune.”

  I couldn’t imagine what had made me confess my feelings to someone I had known for less than two minutes.

  “You don’t have to worry. I won’t say anything. It’s a little more than obvious that there is something very exceptional between the two of you.”

  After dinner, we went back to their house for dessert. Rune and I were being our normal playful selves.

  “The two of you are so cute,” Sheila said. “You make a great team.”

  I had to agree with her. There was something about the way we worked together and played together that was really unique.

  • • •

  When we got back to the hotel, I was having trouble coping with the reality that it was our last night together.

  “What’s wrong, Puddles? You seem sad.”

  “Tonight’s our last night together. I’m going to miss you so much. The last few days have been beyond my expectations, and the thought of not seeing you again for three more months is not something I’m looking forward to.”

  “But we’ll see each other in February. Wouldn’t miss going to see Fifty Shades of Grey with you. I’m going to have a surprise for you. And the next t
ime we come to Florida, we’re going to have one day just for us to have some fun.”

  It was sad in one sense that I was going to have to leave, but my heart was relieved that he was thinking ahead to future encounters.

  Chapter 22 –

  Going Home, Again

  I was beginning to hate planes. Yes, they brought me to him, but they were also responsible for taking me away from him. We drove back to the airport and talked about the weekend.

  “You’ll never know how much James and I appreciate all you did for us this. You’ve opened our eyes to what we need to do to take this to the next level. We’ve been struggling for over a year now, and although things are moving forward, we’ve never had a concrete plan.”

  He took my hand and said, “Thank you so much for coming.”

  “But I never came, not the way you want me to.”

  He started turning red. “Finally, I made you blush.” I couldn’t help but smile with a certain amount of triumph in that moment.

  “I know, but it wasn’t for our lack of trying. I do recall a certain doggie-style encounter that left both of us a little more than satisfied. But I’m sorry if I let you down.” Now I was blushing again, also recalling that second time we had made love that weekend; although feeling sad, too, that I hadn’t given him the one thing he wanted most.

  “That’s the red look on your cheeks that I love,” he said and triumphantly shouted, “51!”

  I was blushing, but the thought of having had such astonishing sex, yet still not letting go, was haunting me.

  As we said our good-byes at the airport, I was sad, but not like I was when I left New York. We had established a connection that was going to take us to the next level. I was happy with the alternate universe that I found myself living in.

  I was okay until I called Anne. “I’m at the airport, again.” Just saying that to her started the sobs. I was now accustomed to being embarrassed in the gate area, as I fell apart after leaving him.

  “I’ve been praying for you all weekend,” was Anne’s reply. “How did it go? Was it as good as last time? Please tell me he didn’t break your heart.” Her concern touched me.