Love, Red Page 9

  Each experience has many of the same elements, but is unique in its own way, but maybe that is the chemistry that we share. Maybe that is what keeps us wanting just one more encounter and why the question of should we or shouldn’t we is no longer relevant. Maybe it’s knowing someone wants us so much. Or maybe it’s the laughter that is interspersed with the passion.

  I can’t wait to feel you inside of me again. I long to make you come again, and I want you to experience what it is like for me to let go and feel that OMG for the very first time.

  Hugging you is just not what I want to do right now.

  Gwynyth

  Chapter 11 –

  Following My Heart

  Being with Rune was something I always fantasized about, but never saw it as a reality. As much as we had this unbelievable bond and chemistry, I never saw it happening until we started talking again and writing Shades of Red. He was going through a divorce and not an easy one. He was struggling with knowing that he was hurting his son, but knew he couldn’t stay in the toxic environment that his life had become.

  One of the things that I realized as we were writing these stories was that the reality of the times had become a larger-than-life fantasy. But those times of being with him were such a huge part of who and what I was. They wove their way into my being and impacted my life in many different ways.

  There was the smile that would appear out of nowhere as the thought of him crossed my mind. There was the longing for his touch. There was the sadness that I would feel when it had been years since I heard his sweet voice.

  Memories have a way of taking on their own reality. The truth gets blurred over time. But reliving the past was bringing us closer and closer. We had a history that dispensed with the “getting to know you” phase of a courtship. We knew each other as well as we knew ourselves sometimes.

  Our conversations were getting more and more sexual in their content. We would try so hard to talk about the weather, politics, my job, or his, but we always came back to what we were both longing to do.

  “How was your day?” he would ask.

  “Not too bad. I got my inbox down to 437 emails before the end of the day. So it was a success in my book. What about you?”

  “Nothing too exciting on my end. I spent the afternoon with Caleb. He isn’t handling the divorce very well. I wish I could go for full custody of him, but my job just doesn’t make it possible.”

  “He’ll get through it, my girls did; and even though it’s not easy, kids are tough, and they bounce back pretty quickly.”

  “Speaking of bouncing,” he said with a huge laugh.

  “You are incorrigible. You know things like that get me to thinking all kinds of things.”

  “Yeah, what kind of things, Puddles?”

  “Puddles? – is that my new nickname?” I said, trying to sound annoyed.

  “Yeah, Ms. Waterfall is just too formal – I think I like Puddles better,” and he burst out laughing.

  “You know, if you would quit telling me what you plan to do the next time we see each other, it would be a lot easier for me to not have these physical reactions.”

  “Speaking of not being fair, don’t you think the letters you have been sending me are a little unfair? It’s not nice for me to be lying in bed at night reading your latest chapter of Shades of Red and not being able to touch you. Damn, Puddles, just mentioning those stories is causing a reaction.”

  “Oh, really, and what kind of reaction is that?” knowing full well what he was talking about.

  Over the years, we had our share of “phone” sex. It’s not nearly as satisfying, but when there are 15, 1500, or 5000 miles between you, sometimes that is all you have.

  It’s a mental connection that you make as you tell each other what you wish you were doing. It’s the emotional memory of knowing what it is like to be linked together physically. It isn’t nearly as satisfying, but establishing that link is a way of keeping you close.

  “So when do I get the story of what we are going to do next time we meet?” he asked.

  “As soon as I catch my breath, I’ll start writing it.”

  Love Letters – The Fantasy of Seeing You Again

  Dear Rune,

  I had started to write this before you called, but now I just don’t know if I can compete with what we experienced last night. To say our connection is as strong mentally as it is physically was proven yesterday. It’s an overwhelming feeling to sense the desire that you have. To know that you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you. There is a level of trust, knowing that neither of us would ever do anything to hurt the other.

  It’s also hard to write a fantasy when making love to you in real life is so extraordinary. However, our minds are the center of pleasure. Our bodies just respond accordingly.

  I’m looking forward to September – knowing that this time is going to be very different. We’ve spent time together (more stories to come) and made love, but there was always something in the background that kept us from being completely free of guilt.

  It makes me smile just knowing that we will be able to explore the city. See the statue of liberty, a Broadway play or the MET. Have a REAL bagel – LOL. I’m thinking we need other diversions to pace ourselves with the other activities.

  The idea of walking down a street and holding your hand makes me smile. It’s the idea of creating a signal that says you want to be inside of me or that I want to feel you moving in and out of me that thrills me.

  The idea that you want to have something inside of me that causes me to spasm when you push a button fascinates me. Not sure what you are talking about there (please explain in detail), but if it is something that would bring you pleasure, then I trust you to keep me safe. I want to fulfill your every fantasy. And I pray you never stop having fantasies.

  Our story starts with me walking down the concourse of the airport. It’s been months of anticipation, but I’m finally in New York City. All I can think about right now is seeing your smile again for the first time in years.

  And then, there you are. My heart is beating so fast. You say, “Hello,” and put your arms around me. I cling to you and keep wondering if it is a dream. You kiss me and smile. Both of us are so nervous.

  I look up at you, and there is this twinkle in your eyes. You ask me if the waterfall has started yet. I start to blush and you say – “Oh, so it has,” and then you smile.

  We are checking into the hotel. You ask if I want something to eat. Food is the last thing on my mind. And in my head I’m thinking that the only thing I want in my mouth right now is you.

  I shudder at the thought of seeing you naked again. Being able to touch you. You ask me, “What was that?” and all I can do is smile.

  We are in the room, and I’m staring out the window. Never having been to NYC, I am in awe of the view. You come up behind me and hold me. You ask me if I’m ready to make love to you. I push myself into your hardness and say, “Yes – I’ve been ready for years.”

  Your motions are exactly what you have written to me before. You begin to play with my breasts and my knees go weak. You smile and say you better get me to the bed before I collapse. I can barely talk, but say, “Yes, that’s a good idea.”

  I know I said I would pay attention next time as to how we got naked, but I haven’t a clue. Can’t even fantasize about it :-). I just want you naked.

  We are on the bed and you have my legs spread apart. You are on top of me, but not inside of me yet. I reach down to touch you, but you won’t let me. You say that once I come, I can do anything I want to you; but until then, you will be in total control.

  You move to the side of me so that you can see my breasts. Your fingers start to play with my nipple (you have always been so fascinated by their reaction to your touch), and then you put your mouth on them, going from one to the other. I’m begging you to go inside of me, but you won’t. Your hand moves down to my thighs and you slowly stroke them. You grin again and say, “Is this what
turns you on – is this what makes the waterfall start flowing?”

  Your hands continue to explore. You touch the wetness and tell me how much you want to make love to me. How you have waited so long to be inside of me again.

  My pleas for you to make love to me are in vain. You tell me how much you want to feel the wetness slide over you. How much you want to feel me hold on to you when you are inside of me.

  I’m almost in tears wanting you to make love to me. You move on top of me, and I feel you get close to slipping into me. All I can say is “Please, let me feel you.”

  You are teasing me with penetrating me. My body is desperately trying to find a way to move into a position that makes it impossible for you not to go inside of me. You start sliding yourself into me, and I’m delirious with the pleasure.

  Now, you need to finish the story…..

  Gwynyth

  Love Letters – My Version of His Response

  Dear Gwynyth,

  I can’t write with nearly the same level of imagination that you do – Ms. Shades of Red. But I can tell you, I’m looking forward to slipping inside of you again. I want to feel your muscles squeeze me and touch you again. I want to slowly slip into you, a quarter of me at a time, and pull back, then slip in half of me. And keep doing that until I’m all the way in.

  I want you to get lost in the pleasure of what we are doing. But most of all, I hope you have that OMG moment that I have always wanted you to have. But if it doesn’t happen, we will just keep trying :-).

  But what I want as much as making love to you, is to just be with my friend again and to laugh in person.

  Love,

  Rune

  Chapter 12 –

  Breathe, Gwynyth, Breathe

  His responses were always short and sweet, but to the point. He preferred for us to talk. His reply to my letter came while I was at the office. My analyst and I share a cubicle and when I read his response, I must have let out a very audible gasp.

  “Gwynyth, what’s wrong. Are you okay?” Collin asked.

  “I can’t breathe. I really can’t breathe,” struggling to say what I did.

  “What happened? Did you get an email from Rune? That’s usually what has you in this state.”

  “Yes, and I can’t believe what I just read.” Tears were actually rolling down my face.

  The protective side of him took hold, and at first, he was concerned Rune had said something to upset me, but then he saw the happiness that was shining from my eyes.

  “What did he say that is causing that smile, but tears to roll down your face as well?”

  I was like a school girl. “He signed it with the ‘L’ word.” I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t even say it out loud. I think there was a part of me that thought if I did, it would disappear off the page.

  “The ‘L’ word. You mean ‘love’?” Now he was smiling. “See, I told you, guys don’t say the kind of things he has been saying to you without caring. It’s just not how we are. You two have something that is very unique. Just breathe and take it all in.”

  And then he said what he had been telling me for months, “Everything is going to be okay.”

  Chapter 13 –

  The Fantasies That Put Him Over the Edge

  There is a certain level of trust that comes with knowing someone so intimately. There is a certain level of freedom that comes with a 30-year history.

  We talked about politics, our kids, our jobs, and the same day-to-day things that most couples do.

  But our past gave us an opportunity to explore the sexual side of our relationship. The controversy surrounding Fifty Shades of Grey has opened a whole new line of thinking and communication. Not judging whether it is right or wrong, but in some ways, it has allowed the possibility of deeper dialogue when it comes to fantasies.

  And we see it played out in TV and movies on a regular basis. Sometimes it is the softer side of fantasies – pretending with your lover that you are having a one night stand, exploring the “toys” in the neighborhood erotica stores, or putting your thoughts on paper.

  No matter how hard we tried to keep our talks grounded in the day-to-day, one of us would invariably say something that would get our minds entangled in what we would be doing the next time we saw each other.

  • • •

  “I took my boat out on the lake this afternoon.”

  “That sounds like so much fun. The kids and I are looking forward to our trip to Arkansas next week. We rent a boat several times while we are there and the kids go tubing.”

  “Yeah, Caleb enjoys it as well. But for some reason, being on the water and then tying the boat at the dock had me thinking of something very different,” came the throaty response, with the smile showing through the words.

  “You aren’t going to go there, are you?”

  “I didn’t say anything. Where is your mind going, Puddles?”

  Every time he used that nickname, our conversations took us to a new level of trust. We were free to ask each other how we felt about pushing our encounters to an edge we had never thought of before.

  “By the way, on my way home, I stopped and picked up a couple of items for us to play with when we get together in September.” His voice couldn’t hide the mischievous tone.

  “What did you do?” A smile of curiosity was crossing my face, but I was almost afraid to hear the answer.

  “You will have to wait and see. But I think you will like it.”

  “What did you do?” I asked again.

  “Not going to tell you, Puddles. It’s a surprise.”

  “What have I gotten myself into? Do you think we’re going to survive a week together?”

  “Depends, are we going to leave the hotel room?” The laughter in his voice made me realize it had been way too long since we had made love.

  “So you aren’t going to tell me what you bought?” half panicked at the thought of what it might be.

  “Nope, you just have to trust me on this.”

  “You know turnabout is fair play. Now I have some ideas for the next chapter of Shades of Red.”

  “Then let’s hang up now,” he said, laughing. “I need some new bedtime reading material.”

  Since we had started talking, the plan was to see each other in September, but that plan didn’t work.

  I’m fairly certain that reading the following letters are what put him over the edge. He could no longer wait until September. And honestly, I didn’t want to wait, either.

  Love Letters – Fantasy #2 – Meeting in New Orleans

  Dear Rune,

  If children only knew how unbelievable naptime could be in the future. There are definitely some benefits to you being a Platinum cardholder at the Marriott. We were able to check in as soon as I picked you up from the airport.

  I had driven to New Orleans so that we wouldn’t have to rent a car. We had unpacked our luggage and were ready to take the trip down memory lane by returning to the city where we had first made love.

  As you might expect, our clothes came off as soon as we were settled. It was always nice to lay in your arms after making love, but I don’t think either of us expected we would fall asleep.

  I woke up to the soft touch of your hand caressing my hair and you smiling at me. As much as I crave making love to you, your smile is what bonds me to you.

  You start to move your hands and softly touch my breasts. I tell you that if you start that again, we are never going to get to dinner or to the Quarter. But if truth be told, I’m turned on that you would want me again so soon after the hour of making love that we had earlier.

  Your touch starts all the senses of my body to go into hyper-drive. My nipples harden as you play with them, the wetness starts, and my muscles contract instinctively. I can’t believe how ready I am to make love to you again.

  You realize immediately where my mind has gone and say we need to get ready for dinner. As we get out of bed, I tell you it isn’t nice to tease me.

  “Who says I
was teasing?” putting your arms around me and pulling me close.

  “I thought we were supposed to be getting ready.”

  Then your mouth starts to move down my neck until you get to my breasts. Your tongue starts making circles and then you are sucking them – going back and forth between them.

  “You’re right, I’ll stop,” and you start to move away.

  “That is so unfair.”

  “Why is it unfair?” you say as your hand slips down to check out the wetness, then you are pressing your hardness against my stomach, and my body pushes into you.

  “Oh, what the heck, we’re in New Orleans, nothing closes around here. Something will be open or we will just go have beignets,” I say.

  I push you towards the bed, and you fold your arms and tell me, “Nope, I’m not going to make love to you right now. The plan was to go to dinner this evening.”

  “Don’t worry, you don’t have to do anything, I’ll do all the work.”

  You teasingly say, “So you’re going to take advantage of this young innocent 18-year-old?” You are laughing so much it’s easy for me to catch you off balance and the next thing you know, you are on the bed on your back and laughing. I straddle you and move the wetness to line up with Mr. Happy.

  You start to move, and I tell you to stop. I want you to lay back and feel what it’s like to have someone want to please you. I slowly start to move up and down. My muscles tighten as I’m moving you in and out of me. Your body is responding in kind, and you start to move again, but once again I tell you to stop moving – let me do all the work.

  Being in control is such a different feeling. Seeing your face enjoy the movement and the squeezing is getting to me. And obviously getting more and more difficult for you to be still.

  As you start to move again, I don’t stop you. You are now meeting my every movement and when I feel like I can’t hold it anymore, I moan and start to release the internal spasm of my OMG, which triggers your body into releasing its own. I fall forward onto your chest, and you put your arms around me and smile.