Love, Red Page 11
• • •
As we walked into the room, I was in awe of the view I saw out the window. I could see the city skyline, as well as Central Park. It was like stepping into the story I had written for him. I walked to the window and took it all in.
The next thing I knew, Rune came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. He kissed the top of my head and squeezed me a little tighter. I could feel him getting hard, but I was still in denial that I was in New York.
“I can’t believe you’re here. It feels good to have you in my arms again,” he said.
“I keep thinking someone is going to wake me soon from this dream,” was all I could say.
He moved his hands to my breasts and slowly started rubbing the tips through my clothes.
“That’s nice, I can’t believe you didn’t wear a bra.”
“Actually, I took it off at the airport. With the jacket on, no one could tell I wasn’t wearing one. And I wanted to make it easier for you. Do you have any idea how worried I was that once you saw me, you would be wishing that I hadn’t come?”
“Coming is all I want both of us to be doing right now,” he said with that all-too-familiar teasing in his voice.
“But we can go to dinner first, if you want,” running his fingers down my sides and then finding the area of wetness that he had generated.
“I don’t think dinner is what you’re thinking about at the moment. And to be honest, I think you know what I want,” falling deeper into his embrace.
He moved his hands to the bottom of my dress and slowly started running his fingers up the inside of my thighs. There was a part of me that had debated about wearing a sundress to meet him, but we had teased about it, so it was the obvious choice.
“Should I check to see if the waterfall has been activated?” knowing full well that it was.
I was weak as he moved his hand across my stomach and slipped his hands inside my panties.
I let out a groan. “Do you know what you’re doing to me?”
“The same thing you’re doing to me. I know you can feel how hard you have made me.” His fingers were now on the tip of the almond. “I love how wet you get.”
He kissed the back of my neck and slowly took off my panties. As his hands moved back up my legs, he gently spread them apart.
“It’s time. I can’t wait any longer,” moving me towards the bed.
As we stood by the edge, he lifted my dress over my head. I was totally naked in front of him now. He smiled as I started to unbutton his jeans. He decided to help me with the process and took off his shirt as I was sliding his jeans off.
“Please make love to me,” was all I could say.
“I’m going to, but we’re going to take our time and enjoy this. It’s been way too long.”
Chapter 16 –
Two Days of Heaven
There are always events in our lives that we wish would never end. It’s our wedding day, or the birth of our children. It’s watching our kid hit a home run for the very first time or performing a solo in the school musical.
Being with Rune in New York was one of those times when I wished I could live the movie Groundhog Day.
We made love that afternoon until we were both exhausted. The thing I had always treasured so much about him was that he never rushed making love. He was always slow and deliberate. He enjoyed the foreplay as much as I did. He was a rare breed of man. I think about how much more most men would get from their partners if they used his philosophy of love-making.
It has set the bar very high for the few other men I have been intimate with in my life. As much as I tried, I could not refrain from comparing them to Rune. And he had an insatiable appetite when it came to making love to me.
As we lay there after we made love, I was enjoying the feel of my head on his bare chest. Feeling his fingers going up and down my arm. And just talking. We should have both been exhausted, but we had so little time and so much we wanted to say to each other.
“Should we go get something to eat?” he asked.
“It’s awfully late. Are you sure you want to go out?”
“Yes, I want you to see the city at night. We can grab a quick bite somewhere and then come back and make love again,” he said, squeezing me into him.
“Really, you think you will be up for that? I know I don’t have a lot of experience, but I’ve never had anyone say something like that to me before.”
“I have to confess, I’m not as young as I used to be, and I don’t know if I will have time to have recovered physically; but emotionally, I haven’t had enough of you yet. You have no idea how much I needed you… and how much I wanted you to come visit.
“Let’s go see what we can find for dinner. Then we can come back and if nothing else, we can just lay here, and I can hold you.” His words were exactly what I wanted to hear.
We asked the front desk for some suggestions and headed out to find a little Mom and Pop pizza place they recommended. I was still having trouble believing I was there.
When we got back from dinner, I took a quick shower and got ready for bed. I couldn’t believe I was going to get to sleep with him again. I enjoyed being naked and having just a sheet covering us.
And there were still the memories of having spent nights with him before. It was him spooning me or me spooning him. Sometimes it was just our butts or feet touching. But something had to be touching as we slept.
I was very pleasantly surprised that he was ready for Round 2 when I got out of the shower. Not sure if was the months of stories that we had written or the number of years it had been since we last made love.
He was enjoying the touching, but I think he was getting lost in the feeling of being wanted, more than anything else. When a marriage is falling apart, it takes a toll, and being with someone who loved him so completely was something he hadn’t experienced in a very long time.
• • •
I remember talking with my friend Nancy when I got back from New York. She owns Eve’s Custom Jewelry, so I had gone to see if she would make an emerald ring for me.
My habit was to set aside some money every month for something out of the ordinary. Sometimes it was used for updating the house, but occasionally, I would buy a piece of jewelry.
When we got together, there was a part of me that had an overwhelming desire for an emerald ring. My research told me that the emerald was a symbol of hope and the future. It would reveal love and bring great vision and intuition to those who wore it.
But more importantly, it was Rune’s birthstone. Not that he was ever far from my thoughts, but I wanted something that would be a constant reminder of the energy that I felt when I was near him.
“Hi Nancy, I know this is short notice, but could you do something for me in the next three weeks?”
Her face contorted with a look of not-quite total exasperation and said, “You know that I normally require five weeks, but why the urgency? And what are you wanting?”
“I’m going overseas soon and will be leaving the love of my life. I’m desperate to have a ring with his birthstone. You know me, I’ve gone to every jewelry store in the area and the only rings they have available are synthetic stones and I need the real thing.”
She broke into a huge grin. “You’ve met someone! How marvelous. Tell me all about him.”
“I’ll do even better than that. How about I show you a picture?” I opened the camera section of my phone and scrolled to the pictures I had taken when we were walking the beach.
“Oh my gosh, that man is hot. Where were you when you took the picture?”
“On Fire Island in New York. It was truly the most beautiful beach I have ever been on.”
“How did the two of you meet?”
“It’s a long story, but the truth is, we have known each other for over 30 years,” and blushing, I added, “and have been having an affair off and on the entire time.”
“Do you know what strikes me about this picture?” she said. “He’s
holding your shoes. Only a man in love would hold a woman’s shoes.”
My smile broadened as I said, “It’s funny, but every woman I’ve shown this picture to has commented on him holding my shoes.”
“Gwynyth, a man who is secure enough to have his picture taken holding a woman’s shoes is something you seldom see. That man loves you. And I can tell you this, two days with that man is worth more than a lifetime with someone else.”
My heart was racing. Could that really be true? “I couldn’t agree more. I wouldn’t trade the days I’ve had with him now and then for a lifetime with anyone else.”
“Let’s see what we can do to get this ring made for you before you leave. Tell me what you’re wanting.”
“I’m not sure. You’re the artist. All I know is that I want a natural emerald cut stone. Can we take one of these settings and change out the stone?”
“That shouldn’t be a problem, but what if we design something just for you?”
“I’m all for it, if I can have it before I get on the plane for London,” I said with a pleading look on my face.
“Okay, I don’t know why, but I’ll see if I can pull this off. You’ll have to come back next week and look at some stones and decide what you want. I should have the wax model by then as well.”
We sat and talked for the next 20 minutes and finally decided on the size of the stone and setting. It was going to be very simple. A one carat emerald with two diamond baguettes on each side. I couldn’t visualize it nearly as well as she could, but I trusted Nancy and knew it would be just what I wanted.
The day before I was leaving for London, I went to pick up the ring. It turned out, it was even more than what I had expected. Nancy had added a unique touch to the ring, something she wasn’t even aware of. She had put a mirrored image of the letter “G” in the basket that held the emerald. But what excited her was the base of the basket.
“It was a little difficult, but look what I’ve done in the base of the basket,” she said, turning it over for me to see. “I had to put two for stability, but look, I’ve made a mirror copy of the letter “R.”
I could see the letter “R,” but at first glance, it looked like the letter “H.” She had no idea what his last name was, but fate, talent, and coincidence found their way into the ring, and so it had my love’s initials – RH. “And by the way, I’m calling it the ‘Elusive Emerald’ design.”
“Really, why elusive?” I asked while completely in awe of the piece of jewelry that I was holding.
Her response struck a chord with me. “As I was working with the wax form, I thought about what we had talked about. I hope it helps strengthen the bond you two have, but unfortunately, it doesn’t give him to you completely. Your future with him is yet to be revealed. Trust that whatever it is, it is what is meant to be. But more importantly, cherish each day you have with him because a lifetime of happiness is packed into every day you spend together.”
• • •
I captured our time in NYC in the following letters that I sent when I got back to Houston. But not before I completely broke down in the airport after he dropped me off.
I smiled and waved as he drove away, but as I walked into the terminal, I almost collapsed trying to print my boarding pass. The tears were falling uncontrollably down my face.
When I reached the TSA agent who was checking people in, she asked me if I was okay. All I could do was shake my head no.
TSA agents take a lot of flak from everyone, but this woman felt my pain. She did the only thing she could to try and help me. She let me go through the pre-approved line. I think it was her way of trying to do something to help.
I got to the gate, found a secluded spot in the corner, and called Anne.
“I..can’t…breathe. I..can’t…handle the pain of leaving him.” My sobs were keeping me from making a complete sentence.
“Oh, sweetie, please tell me he didn’t break your heart.” Anne’s voice was clearly distraught. She had been through the previous months of me not knowing from one day to the next if he wanted me in his life.
“Just..the…opposite,” I said, still sobbing. “He was fantastic, and I had the most unforgettable two days of my life. I always knew how much I loved him, but being with him again was more than I ever dreamed it could be.”
Love Letters – Heading Home
Dear Rune,
I’m on the plane heading back to Houston. This next chapter is for the box in your brain marked “Gwynyth.”
It was hard watching you pull away from the curb. The reason I didn’t put my contacts in was because I knew the tears would start once I had to say goodbye. I didn’t make it through the door before the tears started rolling down my face. They were there for so many different reasons.
First, I was sad to leave my friend. I know you will be going through so much soon, and I wish I were there to help you. Just remember, I’m always just an email, text, or phone call away. But know too, that I’m always in your mind and when you need me, just open the box marked “Gwynyth.” Remember too, that my hand is always in yours, being the friend that you need.
Second reason for the tears was just pure joy from all the laughter. I know it is such a female thing to say, but since I am of the female gender I wanted you to know how much it meant to me. And yes, guys don’t fully understand tears of happiness, but it’s something we do as females now and then.
Third, I can’t believe how incredible it was to actually make love to you again. My most vivid imagination couldn’t come close to what I experienced. Feeling you touch me. Being able to touch you.
I know you think there is an even stronger OMG to come, but I was getting delirious with the physical pleasure. And if there is, then I’m certain it will happen one of these days. But the way you were taking care of me physically touched my soul. Your desire to please me and make me feel what I was feeling was beyond anything I could ever have imagined or even dreamed of.
My body is still tingling from the thought of how you were touching me last night. I told you today that I’ve always been a little concerned about not being pretty enough, but I now know that there is something just as important as physical attractiveness. I felt these past two days the splendor that comes from making love to a best friend and the beauty that laughter brings.
I think it is what has kept us returning to each other throughout the years. It’s the fact that we are both so focused on bringing pleasure to each other. Never worrying about ourselves, only thinking about what will make the other one happy.
I also want to thank you for understanding that I needed you to hear me say, “I love you.” It’s never been a secret that I care for you, but I hope you understand what it truly means. It’s not the 16-year-old kind of love, but I think anyone we care about deserves to know they are loved. And yes, there is a romantic connotation to it as well, but me wanting to tell you that was coming from a place of friendship and caring.
I hope, in some way, me feeling open enough to share that with you lets you know how very special you are to me. It’s letting you know that the trust I have is deeper than the sexual chemistry that is between us. I felt like you needed to know you were loved, not by someone who is broken, but by someone who values you as a man, a friend, and a lover.
Thank you again for the past two days. The walk on the beach. The hours of making love. For wanting me to be there to help you with making the decisions you needed to make, but most of all, for you being there for me. You are a very unique man, and I have always felt lucky to have you as a friend and laughter companion.
Love,
Gwynyth
Love Letters – The Rest of the Story
Dear Rune,
It’s one thing writing about our past, so many years into the future, but writing about this past week, for some reason, is more difficult. Maybe it’s because I still feel your presence. Maybe it’s because the memories are so vivid. Maybe it’s because I never dreamed the fantasies could become reality
.
How do I capture the experience with the same intensity?
When you asked me on Sunday to come up for even just one day, my first thought was we were both insane. But there was something in your voice that made me throw all caution to the wind and drop everything to come spend some time with you.
Wanting to fulfill some of the fantasies was definitely a component of the decision. But more important was that I felt that you needed me. I made the right decision to put everything else aside to be there for you.
As I stood there looking out of the window, knowing that you would soon be holding me and living out the fantasy, my mind became jumbled with so many different thoughts. I have to be honest, my first thought was – what if you didn’t want me? But when you came up behind me, I knew that you needed me as much as I wanted you.
I wanted so much for you to understand how much you were desired. I think if I had known some of the things you would tell me over the next two days, I would have held you even tighter in that moment.
How any woman could cheat on you is beyond my comprehension. You have always been an extremely caring lover when you are with me, but more importantly, I can’t imagine how a woman would do anything to hurt you, or to make you feel you aren’t special.
There are so many conversations I would still love to have with you. So many ways I still want to explore making love to you. But mostly, I would love to have a few more minutes to touch you, a few more hours to bring you the same amount of pleasure that you brought me.
How I enjoyed the touching, and I’m sitting here grinning just thinking of the “toy” and how much fun you were having driving me crazy with it. The thought of being in public and you having so much control over me intrigues me. I keep thinking of how sensual it will be watching Fifty Shades of Grey with you. And you having the ability to send those pulses into me whenever you wanted.
Not that I’m into the sadistic and masochistic nature of the film, but what draws me to it is the knowledge of my being totally submissive to your every desire. The idea of two hours of not being able to touch you, but desiring you and wanting you to be inside of me without the remotest possibility of it, would have had me totally over the edge.